The time gnomes

Ever left something and gone back to it to find it not there? Turned around, looked again and realised it was there? Blame the Time Gnomes. Found it after in a really odd place after losing it? Say, keys in the bathroom cupboard? Blame the Time Gnomes.

The Time Gnomes are our animators. They live in our future, only ten or so frames, and draw and colour in our surroundings. Much like the animators at Disney used to. The only thing they don't draw in is us. Now, recently, things have started getting harder for the Time Gnomes. They had to start dealing with the birds eye view. What was a major triumph for the Wright brothers and a lot of people made them sigh at the extra workload and the new techniques required. When we started to be able to pinpoint things with precision, we took them unawares. And they corrected on the fly. Everything now had to be measured. Things could no longer be put in more or less the same place, everything had to be measured against the previous frame which itself had been measured in turn. They started thinking about moving a little further into the future. One very clever young gnome by the name of Copernicus sorted out the mess that had been the stars by suggesting a seasonal shift, and things started to calm down a little. The gnomes got used to the extra workload.

When the camera was invented, they trembled slightly, but realised it was OK, they could just keep the pictures on file. Well. That in itself is a prodigious undertaking now. And then the ciné camera, and films, and home films and then that spread so fast that now the average mobile phone and digital camera can take short moving pictures. The poor Time Gnomes must have been struck with panic for this. Having to keep every FRAME on file? Ouch. Artists they can deal with. Art takes time. A small hand-held camcorder does as well, in the right hands, but not really. And then there are the security cameras. The poor gnomes. Having to draw it in Realtone™ and at varying degrees from pretty-good-picture to my-word-that's-grainy (pat. pending) at the same time and still have to remember that this tape needs this image...more and more gnomes are having to take time off work for stress, and illnesses related to stress, and is it really any surprise?

In the past, the main scenery would be done by one department, and then each individual had a gnome to watch and put in the fine details. Now more and more gnomes are having to do more than one job. And is it any surprise that they forget something? Just on occasion. I know my gnome is forever losing the little things like my keys and my purse. So I help him/her out. I call for them and usually I find them in pretty short order. Now everybody's gnome can be mischievous at times. And that is why I occasionally find my keys in odd places. Like the bathroom cupboard, or in a box of tissues or somewhere I KNOW I haven't been recently.

So just remember how much pressure the poor gnomes are under and the fact that the latest recruitment drive didn't bring in nearly as many young gnomes as was truly wanted, and stop and say hi on occasion. Who knows - the gnomes might just say hi back.