So what did uni do for me?

In 2007 I sarted my degree. Medical genetics. There were loads of jobs going, and the economy was good. Then it wasn't. I graduated in June 2011. It is now 2013. I was applying for 5 jobs a week. I was getting a reply for maybe one a fortnight. I had 3 interviews. Not a month. In a year and a half. And then my nerves took over in a way they didn't throughout my exams, and I botched them.

Things felt pretty bleak there for a while, and I became angry that I had wasted four years at uni. There had been no point whatsoever.

But there was. I learnt about a subject that fascinates me endlessly. If you ever want to see me as more of a flailing mess than usual ask me to explain just what it is about genetics. I can promise I will babble, repeat myself and fall silent at my ineptitude to explain this bright shining thing.

If that wasn't enough, knowledge for the sake of knowing, for the joy of knowing, it acted as a gateway to catapult me into nursing, something I think will give all the job satisfaction I'll ever need.

But the biggest thing I learnt at university, 300 miles from anybody I had ever known, was me. I learnt about myself. I grew into my faith a way I wouldn't have at home, I learnt what makes me a good friend and that people can depend on me if they need to. And I learnt to stand on my own two feet and know that when I need to I can depend on me. I couldn't have done that so close to my family. I wouldn't have given myself a chance.

And you know what? By learning myself I learnt how to let someone love me, even when I don't love myself. So overall, uni was a pretty big thing for me. And it was worth it. Even if I never got a job at the end of things.

Stop it.

I am not going to get over my religion. I am not going to grow out of it. I am not playing 'games' and I will not come to my senses eventually.

You wouldn't say that that to a Christian. You wouldn't say that to a Muslim, or a Jew. So stop telling me I will. Stop telling me I have have an invalid choice with my life. Stop telling me I'm going to go to hell unless I turn my back on everything I believe and make lip service to something I don't. For one thing, I don't believe in hell. How can I go there? That's not my religion. Stop telling me that my choice of necklace - a pentagram - means that I'm evil, that I'm offending you. Stop saying I'm a satanist. A pentagram is not used as the symbol of satanism. Sometimes, an inverted pentagram is, yes. But mine isn't inverted. Equally often, an inverted cross is used as well. Besides. I don't believe in Satan. That's not my religion.

Stop saying you'll pray for me. I don't need those kind of prayers. If you want to pray that I am happy in my life, or that I get a job, then thank-you. But don't try to save me. Don't give me leaflets, even free bibles when it comes with the comment "...and I hope this helps you come to your senses."

Seriously. I've made my choice. I follow a religion that I am happy with and that fits me and my beliefs and my lifestyle. You have chosen yours. Don't be a dick.

Let me make you something...

A couple of days ago I put this up on my facebook status, and I still have a few spaces left. So I thought I'd post it here and run it parallel. 

2013- "pay it forward"! The first 5 people to comment on this status will, in the next calendar year, receive something from me; perhaps a book, an invitation for coffee and cake, a surprise gift. It will happen without warning and entirely when the fancy takes me! The only catch is that you must make the same offer to your friends within your next status update. Here's to 2013 really being filled with all things fabulous for all of you!!

Please comment if you want to take part.

This is why I love Diane Duane.

http://dduane.tumblr.com/post/36243271434/30-day-otp-challenge-day-6-wearing-each-others

My favourite author is my favourite author for a reason. This is just one of them.
(The fact that she also wrote Star trek books, and a episode and all the other stuffs her talented brain has done. *sigh* Icing on the cake)

Armistice Day

I wrote this a few years ago, the first year I opened this blog. this year Armistice day coincided with Remembrance Sunday. I thought I'd bump it again.

This last Sunday was Remembrance Sunday. When you were little did you turn on the telly hoping for the cartoons, and catch the parade? All those people, in uniforms. So many in wheelchairs or using sticks and crutches. So many old people in uniform. And they all look proud to be there. Proud, and somehow guilty. And the woman, whose medals were always on the other side of the chest to most of the men.

Now I'm older I realise that parades like that, they are proud to be there. Proud and happy that they are being remembered. And even more that the people who can't be there were being remembered. And that is where the guilty comes in as well. The fact that they are there and their friends weren't. Why were they spared? in some cases, some may well be thinking why wasn't I? And the woman, and the sons, with the medals on the other side of their chest, walking in a dead man's shoes. They shouldn't be there. their husbands, fathers brothers. They should be there.

But they aren't. They are the folk who were buried with all honours. Or those who have a cross because there wasn't enough bits to find to bury - "missing presumed dead".

"And their words echo back from the graveyards of Flanders, singing old Jack Judge's song."

And now it has come back into the spotlight. War I mean. Iraq  and now Afghanistan. As the adverts say, every day is remembrance day for some families. This has always been the case, but now it is more noticeable perhaps. because now it is our generation who are dying, and being remembered. There are now so many more people who buy a poppy, and actually stop and think about what it means, what it represents.

When we were kids, poppy day, remembrance day was history. Part of that rich tapestry that so many people don't understand, and in some cases actively resent. People forget that their grandparents were once twenty, thirty years old. That they served in the war. The males in my father's side of the family have a history of military service. But my grandmother and her sisters - they helped as well. Land girls, Plotters under the hills of Portsmouth, Ambulance drivers - nan liked to drive fast until she stopped driving. They all did their part for their country, and did it proudly. They wanted desperately to help any way they could. And their parents, they had been through it all once before, in the first world war. Our parents had the troubles. The IRA, Ireland. "In a station, in a city, a British soldier stood". According to my father Harvey Andrews captured Ireland during the troubles in that song. He said that the first time he had made pretty much anyone listen to it the first time, it moved them to tears.

We don't have that. We don't have the experiences of our parents, our grandparents. And we can't imagine what it must be like. And deep inside, whilst I rage against our shallowness sometimes I'm glad that we probably never will. Because I'm not entirely sure how I would cope, how I would stand up to the legacy that that parade has left for all of us. So I will wear my poppy and try to understand what it must really be like for the people who were there.

This still strikes true. This still is true. I bought my poppy this year. Did you?

And this is why I joined the WI

Things are exciting at Tea and Tarts. Not only do we have circus school in December, I'm secretary. That wasn't entirely expected, but it should be fun. And at last month's meeting the Lemony Tart Awards for Extraordinary Woman was launched.

Think Brownies. Think Girl Guides. Think The Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme.

Truly, it's an amazing way to try and get our Tarts more active in the institute and (glup) more active as well.

 And this is what I've got to do:

Bronze Award

FUN 

Try out one of our extracurricular activities: WI Sew Crafty; Beer & Book Club; Talk Club (speakers and lively discussion); Tarts Go Wild (Outward Bound activities).

MAKE

Learn a new craft and produce a finished product.

SWEAT

 Take part in a Tarts Go Wild challenge of your choosing.

COOK 

Perfect a cookery/baking technique, we can provide ideas if you’re not sure what to aim for.

FUNDRAISE 

Join the Fundraising sub-committee and be an active member. Come up with and carry out a way to raise £10 for our selected charity of the year and £10 for our group fund.

HELP 

Do something to support your WI – help to set up for or clear away after a monthly meeting; help out with the tea and cake at a meeting; volunteer your time to a fundraising activity; bring along a first time guest; join the Welcome Hostess team and make a first time guest feel at home.

I'm so excited! I was never in the brownies or anything. I was always more interested in my books as a kid. But I did start the D of E bronze award at school. I just didn't do the final hike. Pity.

So since I have to record my work towards the award, I thought I'd do it here as well as in the paper journal. So... 

Fun: I've wanted to go to WI sew crafty for a while but something always happens. And the talk club seems quite interesting, or it will be when it takes off. This is my excuse!

Make: My awards partner and I are going to learn to make soap. 

Sweat: I... don't know yet. I'm gonna haveta think on that one. I don't actually know what's happening with this and I'm meant to be secretary!

Cook: I'd love to learn to make a proper old fashioned gingerbread house like my dad used to make for my sister and I every xmas. I've made cakes galore over the years, but never biscuits or gingerbread.

Fundraise: I'd like to sell the soap I make. And maybe the gingerbread house...

Help: Well, I do teas and coffees a fair amount at the meeting anyway, so I'm sure that won't be a problem.

So that's my plan at the minute. I just need to do it now!

This made me laugh out loud.

So everyone should see it!

...

Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says "I'll have some H2O please."
The second one says "That's a good idea. I'll have some H2O too."


Thank you very much.

Must... write... more...

In all my blogs. I've just been in a funk recently. 

Looking at jobs. 

Applying for them. 

Not hearing anything back. 

And repeat.

And repeat.

And repeat.

It can get a bit wearing.

And repetitive.

And dulling. 

I've been searching for over a year now, And I've had maybe 5 interviews. In a year. It can get a bit depressing. And when it does, you lose sight of the things you enjoy. And then the world gets a little duller again and then you loose the feeling of how you managed to enjoy it. 

And the only way to get over that is to keep doing it until you enjoy it again. So I have. 

Then I was perusing the internet, as one does, and I found this site. which does this:

It's a word cloud from my blog. Word's I've used more often are bigger. Pretty, isn't it! It'll be interesting to see what it looks like in a year...

Project time!

I really want to write more. And I have no excuse at the moment. Since I am currently unemployed I figure that between watching re-runs of Dr. Who and Sherlock and trying to remember what little Spanish I once knew.

Also I need something to distract me from the fact that I'm going to America in 9 weeks and 5 days. Not that I'm counting or anything.

So I'm going to write more. I don't know if I'm going to write every day or every other day, but any sort of frequency would be better than not posting since February. 

But I don't want to just write non fiction, although that is important too, if I ever manage to get a job in research. I enjoy fiction too and I enjoy being able to write it. but since I don't all too often even bother - I find that the less I have to do - no work or such like - the less I want to do. And the less I want to do means I sit in my armchair and gently moulder. I don't even do that with vigour.

Whilst I'm writing this I'm watching something to do with illegal drugs and some bloke who thinks that they should be decriminalised. I haven't seen the whole series yet but I'm wondering if he knows about Portugal? They decriminalised all drugs back in 2001 and hey presto. 

The amount of secondary school pupils using what would have been class A drugs have dropped to 10%. New HIV infections have dropped nearly 20% and deaths due to drug use have halved. And the number of people seeking help for addiction more than doubled. Before this happened, Portugal had one of the highest rates of hard drug use in the EU.

These statistics make me feel like we should do that here. I can imagine that the political party that proposed it would be slaughtered though. They wouldn't get back into power ever. The original proposer over in Portugal was one brave man.

I've been sidetracked. I wasn't going to talk about that ^_^ I'm not really sure what I was going to talk about. Real stream of consciousness. Just see where it leads I guess.

52 things.

EDIT:Somewhere is here

I saw this ... somewhere. I can't remember where.
Instead of making new years resolutions, write down 52 things you want to do over the coming year.
It sounded like a good idea so here goes!

  1. Get accepted to study for a PhD (failing that, a job.)
  2. Finish writing the book
  3. Enter (and complete) NaNoWriMo/ Camp NaNo.
  4. Finish uni blanket (and figure out how to correct for the AWFUL warp)
  5. Learn how to knit and crochet lace.
  6. Knit a lace shawl
  7. Learn how to do Tunisian Crochet
  8. Visit family in America
  9. Build my own computer
10. Learn java script (Thanks Codecademy)

11. Try to lose a stone by May (12 weeks, just over a pound a week)
12. Try to lose another stone by August
13. Try to lose another stone by November
(edited thanks to @rsutcliff. looseing a stone just won't do it.)

14. Keep updating my blogs weekly
15. Start saving for my wedding (gods, that sound too grown up)
16. Start organising my wedding
17. Finish a DS game in it's entirety.
18. Finish Prince of Persia
19. Finish Kingdom Hearts
20. Make a good biscuit dough (last one was like cake mix!)
21. Make a good pastry
22. Make a really fancy cake and decorate from scratch - no pre-made icing or marzipan
23. Make a gingerbread house
24. Get the address on my driving licence changed Done in March.
25. Get driving lessons
26. Pass my driving theory test
27. Do the couch-to-5k running program
28. Swim 3 kilometres (120 lengths)
29. Fix my bike
30. Start cycling again
31. Explore Kirkheaton
32. Try a Yoga class
33. Brew some wine
34. Learn to sew on a sewing machine
35. Sew a skirt
36. Sew a top (and get the arms right)
37. Learn to knit some socks
38. Make again a good white/ cheese sauce Done 20.3.12
39. Cook something using a technique I have never used before
40. Make some beaded knitting
41. Improve my Spanish back to my A-level standards
42. Read a book in Spanish with only minimal help from the dictionary
43. Learn the alphabet in British sign language
44. Get my flute serviced
45. Practise the violin for at least 10 minutes every day
46. Visit Legoland Winsor again
47. Watch Billy Eliot 5.3.12
48. Introduce Andy to my dad's family
49. Introduce Andy to mum's American family and Uncle Tom
50. Read more Jane Austin
51. Hand make at least half of all my presents this year
52. Research and write a blog entry every week until I have a job about something science related

If I do all of this, it is going to be a BUSY year. Somethings I know will happen, other things I'm only hoping will happen, but if they do, I'll be made. Anything not made this year will be carried over to next year.

What an amazing clock!

Wow. Again, thanks to D&A Lab. I seem to be reblogging a lot from you at the moment. This is the best clock I have ever seem. And I like back-to-front clocks, so that's saying something.

Sweeties!

Isn't this amazing?! Thanks to http://dna-protein.blogspot.com/ and everyone should go and visit her blog :)

Haha!

An elephant walks into a room with a naked man.
The elephant says to the man, "how do you breath through that?"

Ohhh...

...Sherlock!

Given the ending of this series, I'm so glad there's a third series. in thew works.

I'm a little bit in love with Moffet's interpretation.

Merry Christmas!

I am currently having to CTRL+V every time I want an s in whatever I type. Because my keyboard has stopped working. It is infuriating. And I hadn't realised how much I rely on that one letter. so (sorry,  I didn't copy a capital s) Does anyone have any ideas as to how to fix it? The little soft plastic nub under the plastic key isn't working either. so the key is not just stuck.

HELP ME.


In other news, merry Christmas. This year, I feel festive :D.

Also, I have gotten used to CTRL+V remarkably quickly. Interesting how easy it is to adapt. Not that I don't want my s fixed though...

Some Things.

1. See there is a new link at the top of the page? I've decided to start reviewing the books I'm reading. Go have a look :)

2. on a trip to Morrisons yesterday three things happened that made me smile.

         a) I met the nicest and politest counterman. It was all Madam and an enthusiastic how can I help you? And then he complimented me on my fabric water drop badge. That is first time anyone noticed it, and it was just nice.

           b) As I wondered past the socks and tights I passed a man looking so very confused. So I helped him. The look of relief on his face was pronounced.

           c) Morrisons have those huge two compartment revolving glass doors. As I was leaving, I had to join a queue. A queue to exit the shop. Does that get much more British?

You know you´re ...

... a biologist when

You open the toothpaste with one hand.
You wash your hands before and after using to the washroom.
When you hear tween, you think of the surfactant not the age group.
For you, media is something which increases your culture.
You can identify organs on roadkills.
You have a callus on your thumb.
You use the word "aliquot" in regular sentences.
Sometimes you momentarily vanish from social activities because of a timepoint.
You've never worn a clean lab coat.
You don't fear rodents, rodents fear you.
You say "orders of magnitude" in regular sentences.
You flinch when you hear the word "significant".
Showing up at 10AM and having a coffee is a productive day.
You can't stand god-like physicians, while secretly wishing you had their job.
You're very good at diluting things.
You're also very good at transferring small amounts of liquid between containers.
You are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol.
You hear the word ‘Molar’ and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
You say “conjugation” instead of “sex”, and "pili" sounds dirty. (giggle)
SOB is not an insult, it's what you grow your bugs in.
You say "mills" and "megs".
No-one in your family has any idea what you do. (not quite true, but the ones who do, do the same thing :D)
You can make a short film in power point.
You consider a green laser pointer to be science bling.
A falcon is not a bird....
... And you have 5 of them with different types of water
When your fruits go bad and you get fruit flies, you can't help but check their eye colour
You own invitrogen t-shirts and actually wear them.
You think that drosophila geneticists have a good sense of humour.
You refer to your children as the F1 (I LOVE this one:-)).
You've suffered carpal tunnel from the pipetman.
You've used kimwipes as kleenex.A timer clipped to the hip is not only practical, but dead sexy.
You've played Battleship using tip boxes.
The front pages of Science is your light reading.
You think the following is a quality insult: "I've seen cells more competent than you!".
The scent of latex reminds you of work, not play. (snigger)
You're looking for a cooking book by maniatis.
You've made dry ice grenades.  (no, but I have made a TV mad Scientist's Lab with dry ice :D)
You've lost many friends to ice grenades...

I don't usually do these, but it made me laugh.

(edited: the you know you're a biologist when courtesy of http://dna-protein.blogspot.com/2011/07/you-know-youre.html?spref=fb&m=1 (thanks!) )

Also, for fun:

 Play battleships with a 96 well plate, and put clear starch solution where your ships are and plain water every where else. and then use iodine as the bombs!

Family trees

Now that I've caught up with Iplayer, and Charmed and, oh everything else time wasting I could remember, I've decided to have another look at the family tree my granddad sent me. I must admit, I was quite overwhelmed at first with the sheer number of people that he and and my Granny Ann have put on there. Going back through my mams paternal ancesters, I soon found lots of cases of what I can only assume are family marrying family, or marrying out of the family and their children marrying back in^^ 

All I can say is it doesn't seem to have done any damage. Plenty of Age-at-deaths of 85+, but it really brought home the differences in culture, at least my culture and that of my parents and grandparents, I guess that is just about the age of mass transport, when it was available and really for the first time, in the case of my grands and great-grands, widely available as well. With all the world to see, why look in your own backyard?

So really, my mother's side of the tree is (heavily) populated, so I decided to turn to my fathers side. Now I never knew my granddad, he died at the start of the 80s and I was born at the end. I do know he had tightly curled red hair as a boy though, and that it lost only a little of the curl when he grew up - much like my father, in fact. And I know that he was tall. 6 foot 6. With my nana being at the (very) short end of 5 foot, I've had to smile at the pictures of them both. I can't help but wonder what he was like, this tall military man. I wish I'd known him.

I guess in a way doing this, and listening to the stories of my granddad, and finding his family, is a way of getting to know him, and it gets me talking to my nana about her parents as well. That's nice. And well worth it just for that.

You know when you'be been watching charmed too much when:

Walking upto the shop you see a man in a bowler hat and rolling a crystal ball across his palm and you think Warlock!